Supermarket Commercial Star
by Midnight On Saturn
Summary: you never know what you might find at the supermarket. Take a stroll with Tommy and find out.


Tommy strolled through the aisles of the supermarket; The wobbly wheel of the buggy mixing with the shopping friendly muzak that wafted out of the speakers that hung from above like angels of mundane bliss.

Chips, sodas, bread.and pasta. Same old same old.

"What did I forget to put on my list?"

Tommy seemed to just walk like a zombie. In circles,in circles.

"Faces seem to be repeating. Maybe I've seen them before, maybe I don't know. "

The smiles, the music, the buggy wheel, Just seemed to make Tommy go blank.

"Maybe I just need chips, maybe I don't need anything. Maybe I'm trying to feed something... I forget... I should check my list again?"

Then, Tommy saw something that caught his eye; a little booth by the bakery, It sat below the flickering florescent lights, Kinda hidden off by the restrooms.

Tommy read a sign that caught his wandering eye.

"Be a star make a 1 minute commercial in our '_Starmaker_' booth."

Tommy seemed interested in being a big '_supermarket commercial star_' he saw the small line that began to form, and he laughed to himself.

"Oh my God these folks really think they can make it as a 'smcs'? I doubt it." Tommy laughed.

The little hidden booth had a tiny screen where you could watch the current occupant make their minute vid.

"Who's this ass-clown?"

It was a man with a big moon face, blowing on a harmonica: his jowls flapping as he rocked out like some washed up 90s one hit wonder. His jingle was kinda catchy.

"You don't have to steal,

Get the best deals,

Get savings that are real,

Shop at the market,

Hometown supermarket. "

Tommy almost pissed his fucking pants,

as he watched the man's face blow up like a big red balloon from the $1 rack, between lyrics blowing on his gas station harmonica half-assed, and at the end using his two pointers like fake guns shooting at the screen and saying.

'you know you got a winner... you know who? this guy, yup this guy.' Then blowing invisible smoke from his finger-guns.

"That ass-clown! I swear, listening to that was ear-assault - _no_ \- ear-rape... the next one has to be better." Tommy said as he shook his head and bit his lip so hard he drew blood.

Tommy about ate his words when he saw some neo-hipster-retro-grunge-gypsy enter the 'star maker booth' with God-damned finger cymbals... and her jingle went.

"Best deals around,

**clank clank***

Get on down,

Join, the town,

Gather round

**Clank Clank***

Let's feed the bank,

And give thanks,

At hometown supermarket

**clank clank***

Come on and join the savings ranks.

Feed your soul ,

And your bank."

"God, I didn't think it could get worse but look here I am."

Tommy said to himself as he watched the end of the hipster-gypsy and her final wild hair whip and '_namaste_' greeting saying.

'No matter what we're all winners.' Then finally, taking a long self-centered dramatic pause.

"Good lord! What the hell?

And this, load of crap, these folks I know ain't gotta life."

Tommy said to himself as two guys with a _selfie-stick_ started recording themselves in front of the 'Star maker booth' saying.

"Hey yall, here's what's up, we're about to win this - believe us - it's in the bag bitches. Look, look See our swag ain't none of these folks got what we got... make sure to like and share and subscribe. We're going in stars and coming out super-novas ."

"God gag me. This just might make me vomit." Tommy growled under his hot breath.

Well, as he waited to hear from the dudes, a young lady stood in front of the booth and was making a pitch staring into her smartphone saying:

"Hey everybody, it's your girl Rea, I still need a few hundred more to reach my go-fund-me goal come on everyone this 'commercial star' thing has 2 more weeks.

And I need to look good if I'm gunna be the new face of 'hometown supermarket'.

Let's make this happen, yall!"(tapping her _Target_ clearance bin ringed fingers to her palm).

Just as she finished her pitch, a lady that worked at the bakery (making minimum wage ) shouted."you got $50 from me girl, I'll help get you to the top and get the crew to pitch in a few dollars. Don't worry girl, I got your back."

Tommy couldn't believe the crap he was hearing. 'Seriously' he thought. 'bakery workers were going to give their hard earned money to a bunch of go-fund-me leeches to buy new clothes and stuff, for a damn commercial pitch?'

Anyway, the two dudes made their pitch for the commercial. And it went like this:

"Best deals,

Hometown,

Homegrown,

Get in the zone,

Get ya shop on,

Get ya save on,

Hometown supermarket,

If it's not hometown,

Then it's not homegrown.

Best deals,

Gotta keep it real.

Shop hometown supermarket

That's hometown supermarket. "

Tommy couldn't believe the screen this time.They kept framing their faces with their hands and saying 'stars, stars' it was just plain ridiculous and mother-fucking cheesy.

Then, as he tried to get his sense of sanity back, he realized he just missed the Elvis impersonator and caught the very end of a dude saying 'thank you hometown supermarket thank you thank you very much.'

Tommy was glad he missed it, he might have burst out in uncontrollable laughter.

Well Tommy's chance was almost here, when one of the floor crew came by with his broom and started dancing with it then saying:

"Hey folks, y'all wanna be hometown supermarket market commercial stars!?"

Tommy thought it was a bit over the top -

And then right as he was about to enter the booth the floor person's broom flew into the booth by accident - but the guys mind was on other things, and was off to clean the restrooms.

And now finally it was Tommy's turn -

He took a deep breath, and entered the booth. It was Tommy's time to shine and become a '_supermarket commercial star_'. And didn't even realize the _broom_ at his feet.

**The End**


End file.
